From a spiritual perspective, if there is anything that you do not like, it is a spiritual lesson. In order to dislike something, you must judge it. If you did not “judge it,” you would just “love it.” Judgement is one of the Seven Spiritual Life Lessons.
    I discovered the Seven Life Lessons when a student continually heard me referring to the phrase “life lessons” and questioned what they were. After searching the internet unsuccessfully for the answer, I went into meditation and received the Seven Life Lessons, from Spirit. When I compared them with all of the negative and damaging emotions, the lessons matched perfectly. As we study the examples below as to how these lessons can lead to “loving everything and everyone,” we can see the importance of obtaining each one.

Separation:  Connected to Source. Fear does not exist.
Forgiveness:  You forgive all the actions of others.
Judgement:  If you did not judge it, you would love it. 
Divine Guidance:  There are no regrets, no second guesses.
Identity:  You become indifferent of others judging you.
Unconditional Love:  You might not like their choices, but you do love them.
Control:  Surrender control, including being controlled and trying to control others.

One of the challenges is the difference between “preference” and “quality.” If your decisions are based on preference, that is not judgement—if you prefer one flavor of ice cream over another, it is probably not because of quality—but preference. Ideas and choices based on perceived quality are judgements. Spiritually, nothing is better, it is just different.
    Another challenge is that the lesson of Unconditional Love is not based on the physical realm, meaning it is not necessary to have the person in your life or ever see them again to love them. An example often used is “a lion is a beautiful creature, you just do not want to be in the same room with one.”

Greatest Spiritual Teacher? This Might Surprise You!
In working with clients and patients as a spiritual healer / teacher, I often find myself pointing out the idea that their greatest spiritual teacher is their “significant other.” They do not need to climb mountains or crawl into caves to find the guru. Their greatest teacher is right under their roof. 
    When you look at the Divinity of your relationship and bring awareness to all the events that had to occur for you to be together, it is obviously Divine. On the surface, sometimes the relationship may not seem so, but from a Spiritual perspective, every relationship is perfect for what you need in order to move forward spiritually.
    The real challenge is not whether or not you stay in the relationship, but did you get the lesson? If the person does not get it, it keeps repeating in future relationships until the person “walks through the lesson.”
    Some examples of how the Seven Life Lessons appear in significant relationships:
Separation:  Feeling separate from God or making another person a “source” or God.
Forgiveness:  Betrayal issues or being forgiven, including self-forgiveness issues.
Judgement:  Judging or being judged thus hiding your true self.
Divine Guidance:  Not trusting your inner guidance or having conflicting guidance with spouse.
Identity:  Not knowing or allowing your true self to present.
Unconditional Love:  Unusual circumstances or geographical separation.
Control:  Trying to control others or others controlling you.

Once you understand the lesson(s) tied to the relationship and you start processing them or get help in processing them, the conflicts become resolved and often bring the couple closer together in a loving relationship.
    For those not currently in a relationship, reflect back onto your past relationships and determine the lessons tied to them before entering the next. It is strongly suggested that your relationship with God become the focus and the lesson of “Separation” be obtained before moving forward in any relationship.

Dr. Mark Tong is the director of Crystal Bay, a spiritual retreat for wellness and healing, located in St. Petersburg. For more information and your free report on the lessons, visit 7LifeLessons.com. See ad page 5.

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Dr. Mark W. Tong, Spiritual Counselor, Healer and Wellness Teacher